What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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