remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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