You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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