Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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