i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize