Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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