White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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