My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize