she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize