yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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