I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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