I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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