the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
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