I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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