I'm sorry my penis didn't work
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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