Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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