So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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