So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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