I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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