i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize