Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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