watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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