I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I didn't shave. On purpose
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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