In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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