I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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