I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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