He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize