Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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