my vag is so smooth its legendary
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize