like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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