8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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