My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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