the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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