They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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