He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Panties = found
Randomize