i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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