she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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