i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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