He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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