no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
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My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
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And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
When are your genitals available?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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