dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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