oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
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But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
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I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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