let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize