Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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