just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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