Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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