I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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