If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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