I hope mine doesn't look like that
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
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She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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