was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
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I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
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I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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